American, Idle

It’s the train wreck that all of America can’t help but watch. I’ve been a follower since Season One. You know… when reality shows were new and different. Ah, Season One. The innocence of Justin and Kelly. The excitement of the competition. The witty banter of Ryan Seacrest and Brian Dunkleman. (Wait... Brian who???)

With each new season, I grew less interested in the contestants and more annoyed with the little quirks of the show. Didn’t stop me from watching, of course. Call it habit. Call it morbid curiosity. But this season, American Idol has reached rock bottom. To paraphrase Randy, “I dunno, dawg… it’s just not working for me.”

Maybe it’s the judges. It’s become entirely too easy to predict what they’re going to say after a performance. Randy thought it was “pitchy, dawg.” He didn’t like all the “runs.” It “didn’t work” for him. And lately, “that wasn’t my favorite song of yours.” Paula starts by telling you how beautiful you looked, or how your smile warmed her heart. She’ll probably cry, or at least get choked up as she tells you that you really made the audience believe what you were singing. And Simon? He thought it was “simply dreadful.” He’ll compare you to a cruise ship performer or a wedding singer. And collectively, they’re just as bad. They can’t seem to make up their minds about what they want out of the performers. If a contestant sings the song the way it was written, the judges tell her it was “karaoke” or that she “didn’t make it her own.” But heaven forbid she changes it up a little to make the song more unique… then they tell her that they didn’t like the arrangement, and that she should have kept it more simple.

Maybe it’s the contestants. This season’s singers are worse than usual… and not just their voices. Take Melinda. She’s clearly talented, but she acts surprised every time the audience cheers for her. “Who, me? You think I’m good??” Come on. Drop the act. It was sweet the first few weeks, but now it’s getting old. And what about Sanjaya? Who keeps voting for this kid? He’s way out of his league in this competition, but America doesn’t seem to think so.

So maybe my beef is with the voters. I have this image of love-struck 14-year-old girls speed-dialing so people like Sanjaya can stay on the show week after week. It’s a singing competition, not a beauty pageant. (Seriously, dude. Straightening your mullet doesn’t change the fact that you whisper all your songs.) If this keeps up, we’re going to have a Tamyra Gray/Chris Daughtry moment all over again.

Well, for what it’s worth, my money’s on Blake. He’s quirky and original, and I love his song choices. Except for the Diana Ross fiasco, but let’s face it… there wasn’t much to pick from there. I don't think he'll actually win. I just think he should. I have a gut feeling that he'll get voted off way before his time, and that's what pisses me off about this show.

Yeah, I know. No one is forcing me to sit and watch it. I just can’t help myself.