recap

I'm rubber, you're glue
Overheard in my classroom this week:

Girl: Miss M!!!
Me: Yes?
Girl: He just said, "Talk to the butt, cuz you're at Pizza Hut."
Me: Talk to what?
Girl: (sighs) Talk to the butt.
Me: The butt? (chuckle, in spite of myself) I've never heard that before.
Girl: (laughs and shakes her head) You crack me up.

Overheard in schoolyard:
Girl 1: I'm tellin' on you!
Girl 2: Why??
Girl 1: You stepped on my heart and made me fart.
(Both parties dissolve into hysterical laughter.)

Thank you, Gwen Stefani
In honor of Arbor Day, my kids each brought in a piece of fruit that grows on a tree. We sampled them and made fruit salad out of the leftovers. Then we made a class book. Each child had to write 3 things that they put in their salad. I heard Frequent Absentee Girl singing to herself while she worked.

Me: Knock off the singing!
Her: I can't, I'm spelling something. (resumes singing)
Me: What are you spelling?
Her: (sings Gwen Stefani's song Hollaback Girl) "This is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S..."

Lucky for me, she sang the edited version. (It's supposed to be, "This shit is bananas...")

When dinosaurs roamed...
During guided reading, my above-level group was reading a book about the Wright brothers. It talked about something that happened in 1903, and one of my kids was having trouble reading the year. Another child stepped in to help him: "It says 1903. That's in the old days, like 1988 and 1997 and all that." Ouch.

The end of my day
One of my boys asked to move his seat, because people were bothering him. "Fine," I said. "Move it." My desks are arranged in groups, Table One, Table Two and so on. He decided he wanted to sit by himself instead of with one of the four tables. Having successfully seceded from the group, he became an autonomous entity and declared himself Table Five. Furthermore, he insisted that I refer to him as such. Alrighty, then.

At the end of the day, I had called all the tables to pack. One of my girls had spilled the entire contents of her thermos onto the floor ("accidentally," of course), my room was in chaos, and the first dismissal line was at the door, waiting for the bell to ring. My newly independent friend rushed to the back of the room and hopped from one foot to the other next to me.

Me: Why are you back here? Why isn't your jacket on?
Him: You didn't call Table Five to pack!
Looking back on it now, it's pretty funny. But at the time...
Me: You can NOT do this to me now! Get in that closet and pack!

Needless to say, it was a rough day. TGIF. Happy weekend, everyone!