Tuesday, May 17, 2005

the last ten minutes of my day

Honestly, my mornings are usually relatively stress-free. Same goes for the afternoons. It's the last ten minutes of my day that give me gray hairs. Take today, for example. Let me set the scene: The kids are packing up. I'm sitting at my desk, with a pile of red-sticker copybooks (aka - homework copybooks) that are awaiting my behavior notes and reminders.

Children begin approaching my desk, without permission, of course. I'm absorbed in the task at hand, feverishly scribbling so that I can beat the dismissal bell. And then the cacophony starts.

"Miss M!" (Frantic voice, hopping from foot to foot.) "I needa use the bafroom!"

"Can I read my word-ring?"

"Remember this morning when you said I could pick two kids to try on my Darth Vader mask? Well, six kids asked me to wear it, so I thought you could pick one, and then we could have a race to see who else gets a turn." (This earned him an are-you-kidding-me? stare.)

"Do we need to wear our jackets? But it's hot!"

"Miss M, there's a traffic jam in the closet!" (that's what I call it when too many kids cram in there... another saying they picked up from me...)

"I found a sweater in the closet. There's no name on it."

"Can I empty the trashcan?"

"Can I help him empty the trashcan?"

"I can't find my sweater!!!"

"I only have one page left in my homework book. Can I have a new one?" (something they're supposed to ask me for in the morning)

"Miss M, do you wanna know what my dog did yesterday?"

"Hey! I'm tellin'!"

(At this point, I looked to the back of the room just in time to see one boy slap another one upside the head very hard. I sent a messenger to the office with an incident report and demanded the criminal's red-sticker copybook.)

"Oooooooh! He's going to the office! He's gonna get a blue card!" (My behavior system uses four colored apples. Blue is the last-resort card, only used in the most dire of circumstances.)

"Can I get a drink of water? Wait, I mean, can I go to the bathroom?"

(I handed back the copybooks just as prayers started on the loudspeaker, only to discover another copybook hiding under a pile of papers. Deep sigh.)

"Are you tired, Miss M? You look tired."

Bell rings.

1 comment:

Pigs said...

I can't put into words how much better it makes me feel to read someone else's version of this. I am cracking up. Why is it so funny when it's somebody else?