Monday, May 16, 2005

hearing myself

Being the only adult in a classroom of 24 first graders, I often say things that are ridiculous and simple, at best. All my usual facets of conversation (snarky one-liners, clever wit) are lost on the Sponge Bob set. A shame, really, because I've got some gems that are rendered useless unless another adult happens to be in the room.

I used to think that I could pass off the occasional sarcastic remark without them being the wiser. But there is always ONE little smarty who gets it and snickers while the other unfortunates stare out the window, unaware that they've been zinged.

Some of my own teachers in grade school and high school had sayings that were unique to them. My favorites include, "When in doubt, check it out," and "Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?" and "You don't know bats about beans,"and "_____ is three days older than God." Over the past five years, I've developed my own "catch phrases." Apparently, I use them so often that my kids have picked up on them. Lately, I've been hearing things like this from my kids (my catchphrases in green):

Miss M: Table 2, what happened? Look at all this paper on the floor!
Boy: Yeah, her floor is not our trashcan.

Miss M (addressing class): This is the second warning I've given you. If it gets loud again, then we're not having gym.
Girl in back of class, with sad voice: And that would be a shame.

Miss M: Okay, let's take out our math workbook.
Class (disappointed groan): Awwwww....
Boy: Don't give her "awwww"

Pencil cup falls, sending pencils flying everywhere. Kids dive from across room to "help" pick them up.
Miss M: Whoa, go back to your seats!
Girl: Yeah, we don't need 37 people to help.

It's nice to know they're paying attention. If only they knew their spelling words this well.


Pigs said...

That is so cute. I love when I start hearing myself coming back to me at the end of the year. Mine say, "She'll wait!"

SuzanH said...

I like your blog. I'm not a teacher, but my daughter is in 2nd grade now, and just helping in the classroom on an irregular basis drains me. I can't imagine how hard your job must be, particularly with those children who are difficult to reach/teach.

You are truly doing a service. Keep up the good work.

Rebecca said...

You know what's cool? The boy wasn't just repeating what you had said, he actually understood it. Because he said "her floor" instead of (what I'm assuming you say), "my floor".

(Thanks for posting in my comments that you'd help with my project, but I can't find an email adress to send questions to. Could you either email me or point me in the direction of your email address? Thanks! ( jacobso1 [at] grinnell [dot] edu ))

la maestra said...

ha, what an impressive list! i don't think i rubbed off on my kids as much since i came in mid-year, but the translated versions of the stuff they've picked up from me include calling any state of disorder a disaster (in an exasperated tone), "...and that's not showing respect!" and (in response to my simply pointing at the perpetually leaky sink/water fountain) "turn off the water or she's going to go INSANE". part of my ESL plans for the first week of school will be teaching my kids "chill out" and "don't be lame".