Being the only adult in a classroom of 24 first graders, I often say things that are ridiculous and simple, at best. All my usual facets of conversation (snarky one-liners, clever wit) are lost on the Sponge Bob set. A shame, really, because I've got some gems that are rendered useless unless another adult happens to be in the room.
I used to think that I could pass off the occasional sarcastic remark without them being the wiser. But there is always ONE little smarty who gets it and snickers while the other unfortunates stare out the window, unaware that they've been zinged.
Some of my own teachers in grade school and high school had sayings that were unique to them. My favorites include, "When in doubt, check it out," and "Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?" and "You don't know bats about beans,"and "_____ is three days older than God." Over the past five years, I've developed my own "catch phrases." Apparently, I use them so often that my kids have picked up on them. Lately, I've been hearing things like this from my kids (my catchphrases in green):
Miss M: Table 2, what happened? Look at all this paper on the floor!
Boy: Yeah, her floor is not our trashcan.
Miss M (addressing class): This is the second warning I've given you. If it gets loud again, then we're not having gym.
Girl in back of class, with sad voice: And that would be a shame.
Miss M: Okay, let's take out our math workbook.
Class (disappointed groan): Awwwww....
Boy: Don't give her "awwww"
Pencil cup falls, sending pencils flying everywhere. Kids dive from across room to "help" pick them up.
Miss M: Whoa, go back to your seats!
Girl: Yeah, we don't need 37 people to help.
It's nice to know they're paying attention. If only they knew their spelling words this well.