By now, rumors are no doubt circulating about the events of my party yesterday. I'd like to set the record straight:
~ I had every intention of staying relatively sober. And by "relatively sober" I mean "able to remember most of the events of the day without help." Unfortunately, that did not happen.
~ Due to the aforementioned drunkenness, I likely did one or more of the following things: talked too loudly, flirted, said something lewd/insulting/compromising, ignored guests without realizing it, spilled beer.
~ Yes, I did smoke a cigar. No, it was not a good idea.
~ Contrary to popular belief, I did not fall because I was drunk. Rather, I tripped on a mike stand, twisted my foot, and snapped the strap on my favorite pair of sandals, thus rendering them useless. There was no need to yell "FLAGGED!" Really, now.
~ One batch of Rice Krispies Treats was clearly not enough. My apologies.
~ It is very unusual for a game of beer pong to turn into a salsa dancing lesson. Especially at 4 AM. I'm still not sure how that happened.
~ I did not go skinny-dipping. But I was by the pool when the other people did.
You just never know what you're gonna get when you throw a party.